Random Page Titles

Today, I wrote a little Javascript that randomly changes the page title. I put the script below. Feel free to use it. Just change "Test 1,2,3,etc." to what ever you want. You can add more titles to draw from by adding 'rantitle[4] ="xxxxxx"' and so on. Also, remember to remove the title line from your HTML head. ALSO, set "var num" to however many titles you have specified.


<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
<!--//
if (parseInt(navigator.appVersion) >= 4) {
var num = 3;
var rantitle = new Array(num+1);
rantitle[1] = "TEST 1";
rantitle[2] = "TEST 2";
rantitle[3] = "TEST 3";
ranNumber = parseInt(num * Math.random() + 1);
document.title = rantitle[ranNumber];
}
//-->
</script>

Random ACAD drawings

So I was sitting, waiting for class to start Friday. So I whipped out my laptop and drew these. Nothing fancy, just practice. Some random gaskets from the book. I am working on a project in solid works at the moment. It has moving parts and all! I'll upload pics when it has progressed more. Bye!

Thanksgiving 2010

So, we're 12 days into November and I have been posting what I am thankful for each day as Facebook status updates. I think its time I post an unabridged version of the list of things I am thankful for.

Here you go.

1. I am Thankful that I am not on fire right now.
2. I am thankful that I am not being attacked by velociraptors right now.
3. I am thankful that gravity hasn't broken.
4. I am thankful for all of the veterans that keep my family safe.
5. Im thankfu fr splchek.
6. I am thankful for Mark Zuckerburg and his magical time deleting device.
7. I am thankful for being able to go to Community College.
8. I am thankful for all the friends who say that I have the capability to go to a major university.
9. I am thankful for Pell grants.
10. I am thankful for math tutors.
11. I am thankful for sweet tea.
12. I am thankful for free copies of ACAD provided by my wonderful school.
13. I am thankful for my teacher instructing my how to use software that we aren't supposed to learn how to use for two more semesters.
14. I am thankful that I am not a computer science major. (Seriously guys? Calculus 4?)
15. I am NOT thankful for the next ENTIRE DECADE I have to use studying.
16. I am thankful for all the turkeys that have given their lives for my eating pleasure.
17. I am thankful no one has seen my blog. (That would be embarrassing.)
18. I am thankful for the right to write things like, "My government is doing a mediocre job of dealing with key issues."
19. I am thankful for Tacos.
20. I am thankful for Burritos.
21. And most of all, I am thankful for my fantastic friends.

Pros and Cons of Using Facebook

I am writing an outline for a Comp1 essay. I listed the Pros and Cons of using Facebook in list form. Here is a slightly amended version of that list.

Pros of using Facebook:

1. Allows you to meet people that you would not usually have a chance in interact with.

2. Lets you share information quickly between friends and family.

3. Allows you to share pictures and videos with friends and family.

4. Allows you upkeep long distance relationships.

5. Can sometime force people to be polite online.

Cons:

1. Info can possibly be seen by any user of the internet.

2. Difficult to remove your info from the site, without manually changing each info field, and deleting all photos, videos, status updates, notes, etc.

3. Can force you to be polite to people you may not like.

4. If you don’t use Facebook, people might wonder what is wrong with you.

5. I am pretty sure a guy from the NSA or CIA personally reads each post you make.

6. He also laughs at your embarrassing photos.

7. If you don’t have a Facebook account, you will not be permitted to purchace any Government Issued meat tubes.

8. Use of Facebook may cause you to write a blog post on all the things you dislike about Facebook. (DO NOT DO THIS, ITS BEEN DONE 100 TIMES AND IS NO LONGER FUNNY)

Please don't point out the contradiction of the last statement to this entire post.

Child Regulation

I am so sorry. I forgot you again. I simply can not remember to think of funny things to say. Much less to log in each day and type out coherent ideas, using proper grammar.

A lot of this can be blamed on my feral nieces and nephews. The problem with them being raised by their grandparents, is that they are completely spoiled. That brings us to today's topic.

Offspring regulation:
A less than definitive guide



Please DO NOT follow any of the suggestions in this guide.

Welcome! Thank you for contributing to society by procreating! We hope you are enjoying your little bundle of joy. However, there are some things you need to know.

While the little bugger is sleeping peacefully now, you will find the never ending hell of countless nights with out sleep may lead to "Shaken Baby Syndrome." A baby's constant complaining can also be a major drag on social life. But do not fret! There are a number of solutions to this problem.

1. Sleep aids -

"YOU CAN'T GIVE BABIES PILLS!" you may be screaming from your living room. (Which I am sure woke your little nightmare.) You are correct. But mashing them up and mixing them with your babies' milk will work just fine.

Dosage - Two pills will work, but to be safe, use at least six.

If you breastfeed, it will be necessary to get the sleep aid into your blood stream. It will require a much higher dose to show results in your mammary fluid. This dosage can be no less than 20 pills.

2. Pillows -
After a while, your baby will develop a resistance to sleeping pills. You will need other plans of action. A simple pillow covering the mouth of the child will greatly reduce the decibel level of it's screaming.

Technique - Firmly press pillow over offspring's face until it goes to sleep. You may now enjoy your evening, while your pride peacefully sleeps. :)

3. Moving child outdoors -
This is the simplest of all methods. Simply leave the newborn outside to play.
Safety is a common concern, the child should be safe, but you may wish to take extra precautions. A trash can provides complete protection for any environment. Make sure to leave it close to the road, as to allow neighbors to keep watch over the little one while you are away from the house. Some animals will protect your child. Wolves are very caring and will defend your cub.

You may also want to provide the child with the means to protect itself. Start out with knives. Begin teaching it the basics of switchblade operation, then move toward more advanced stabbing techniques. Guns should not be used because a baby's fingers are not strong enough to pull the trigger.


Follow these suggestions, and your first few months of being a parent will be a breeze.

As your offspring develops, and gains sentience; you will need more advanced techniques of controlling it.

The general idea here is to plan ahead. For example, feeding your child a surplus of sugary drinks and food early in life can cause it to develop diabetes. All that is required is to keep the child supplied with insulin. Withhold insulin when child misbehaves.

Shock collars are a great way to condition children to obey. You can create a "fail-safe word" by screaming that word each time your administer electricity. Causing the child to seizure upon hearing the word, even with no shock collar installed.

Still it is possible for the child to rebel when it reaches adolescence. This will be the only drawback to teaching it to knife fight as a baby. If your offspring decides to stage a violent coup d'état, remember, you did not teach it to use guns.


Memorize this simple formula so you will know what weapon to choose in this situation.

Bullet speed = speed of knife X 1,000,000

You may not wish to dispatch the enemy. I suggest that you do not hesitate, because your child will not. It wants nothing less than your blood. If you really do not want a dead child, rubber bullets are a non-lethal solution.

If you survive, your child should finish developing and go about it's life producing it's own offspring. Congratulations!